Fiddler's Green, San Francisco

Starting this off with an edited version of a Yelp review I wrote a little while back. Since at the time I had no idea I'd have this blog, I didn't take a picture of the place myself and totally stole one from the internet. Thanks, internet!

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Fiddler's Green
Neighborhood: Fisherman's Wharf
1333 Columbus Avenue
San Francisco, CA 94133

Good for: groups, frat boys who haven't grown up
Specialty: booze of all kinds, hot drunk chicks who like to dance



Let's say you're the typical 20-30something manchild San Francisco guy. Let's say you still prowl bars in search of women who can look past your small-but-growing beer belly, the use of the word "bro" every other sentence, and are drunk enough to give you the time of day.

The problem is... every bar you go to has 75%+ or more dudes, the decent ones there show absolutely no interest in hearing about the hedge funds you manage, and the few hot girls have every drunken moron there trying to chat them up. Where do the rest of the decent-to-hot women in the city go to drink? Clearly they have to be *somewhere*, right?

A couple weekends ago, I found out where. Fiddler's Green.

Upon first Google-mapping it, I texted the friend who wanted to go there: "hey... uh, this shit is seriously out in the middle of nowhere. fisherman's wharf?"

This was her response: "yeah i know. just head out there... it'll be fun."

So the bar has all the trappings of your typical San Francisco drinking establishment: friendly (okay, maybe not so typical) bartenders, beer, booze, women, and music (although seriously, DJ, please play something other than Lady Gaga. We all know chicks dig it, but I'm pretty sure you played Bad Romance like 3 times)... wait, what? Women? Yeah. A lot of them. I thought to myself "So *this* is where they all go," and proceeded to imbibe with the guys in the not-as-crowded upstairs area (downstairs was a complete shit show and was probably not worth the hassle to get a drink, unless your idea of fun is elbowing your way past all of the frat boys) while the girls we were with hit the top 40 dancefloor. I actually have no recollection of being downstairs (not due to blacking out, I swear - I didn't drink that much) since I don't think anyone from my group even bothered after seeing all the people spilling out onto the sidewalk.

Would I go back? Probably not - it's just way too out there for my liking, and being anywhere near Fisherman's Wharf makes me feel like I'm in a foreign country. But that doesn't detract from the fact that this bar is indeed one of the most fun ones I've been to in the city. So there you have it - guys, you now know where all the women are. Have at it.

Welcome to the San Francisco Booze Blog

Writing about drinking establishments in San Francisco is like opening a taqueria in the Mission. There are already established writers with their published work and refined tastes in periodicals that cater specifically to San Francisco like 944 and 7x7, that, while not entirely focused on just the bar scene, collectively cover the nightlife (and as a result, bars) here.

Those who are paid to cover the city's nightlife, to be honest, are probably not at the same level as you and I. Not saying they're any better or worse; just in a different mindset. While we're content with drinking at bars that have been around for years, they're constantly in search for the latest and hippest bar. Where people want to be seen. Where people want to be the first to get to know the bartenders. Those gems that have yet to be unearthed? Yeah, they're on the lookout for those, too. The ensuing explosion in popularity kills any charm or quirkiness they had before that separated them from the rest as they start to cater to an entirely new demographic.

Not apt to reading the snooty (and possibly unfairly biased) thoughts of a select group of journalists? There are sites like Yelp and alikelist where the plebian masses can voice their opinions.

The problem with review sites is that the ratings are quantified with a simple number; those who write reviews are required to give the establishment a traditional 1-5 rating. While looking up reviews for a particular bar, instead of reading the 300-odd reviews, it's much easier to simply glance at the stars. Imagine those 300 people packed into a room, all speaking over each other, all trying to tell you why you should or shouldn't go somewhere. Any one voice in particular that you might take into account and the actual purpose of the site itself gets lost to all but those with enough free time on their hands to actually read the reviews. It's just easier to quickly glance at the star rating.

In addition to the flawed review and rating system, you have no idea what the background of the reviewers are. If Johnny Skinnyjeanshipster was forced to go to a booty-shaking Top 40 club in SoMa and as a result made to feel entirely uncomfortable - and then feels like sharing his opinion - of course he's going to rate the bar lower than, say, Brittney Bridgeandtunnel. And Whitney Winesnob at a Haight Street dive bar? Forget about it.

Which is where this blog comes in. I like to think of it as the common man's (and women's) drinking blog. I like to drink. My friends like to drink. I hate to call what I'm going to write here "reviews" as you and I know them. "Opinion" isn't the right word, but it's the first that comes to mind. Maybe a story here and there, if warranted. Content aside, it's my hope that people find all of the bullshit presented here by myself (and hopefully others) entertaining and informative.

Ideally, there'll be at least a couple opinions of each of the places covered here (borne out of growing up reading EGM with their Review Crew and 3-man reviews) - since I try to not make a habit of frequenting bars alone, the only problem with this is convincing my friends to also write a few words about where we drink. I'm going to assume that until that ball gets rolling, I'll be writing about places solo-style and repurposing old reviews I've posted on Yelp.

Cheers. Now bottoms up, bitches.